So. What's happened in the past few years? My one year old became a three year old. He's tenacious and wonderful, except when he's not. I had a daughter - who is fastly approaching her first birthday and who, just by being here, has taught me to slow down a bit and has provided the reminder that sleep is overrated. I'm two years into my agency job in home state and (mostly) liking it, but also fearful of what the new administration may do. Being an environmental and renewable energy professional is sort of an uneasy spot these days. (And yes, as a middle class white person, I fully realize just how trivial many of my concerns are by comparison).
What else? I've gotten closer to my mom. I'm about to celebrate ten (!!!) years of marriage. I've lost some friendships and gained new ones. I'm (sort of) growing up. But still feel about 12 most days. Adulthood is a mixed bag. But, overall, I'm really really happy and really really grateful. I definitely have struggled with postpartum anxiety after both of my pregnancies, so it's often hard to just *be* and really truly absorb just how much good there is in life rather than constantly fear losing it, but I'm trying.
I can't decide whether I'll post more or not. I LOVE the time capsule element of the blog, but also want to retain some privacy for my kids. Not sure what to do on that one. Maybe take a lot of artsy photos where you can't see what they really look like? Ha.
Anyway, just a rambling post to the 3 people still reading this thing.
I'll leave with a quick lesson for today (and my life!). An old friend of mine used to tell me her goal for her children was that they would grow up to be happy. Not that they would change the world - or do anything particularly amazing - just that they would find happiness. I think of that sentiment all the time as I am raising two little people.
When I was growing up, I felt a lot of pressure (mostly self inflicted) to make a real difference in the world. To effect change. To make sure my career would enable me to leave the world a better place. I sort of fell hook line and sinker and pursued a law degree without much thought. I was going to save the world!
Needless to say, normal days spent in a windowless office typing memos hasn't always felt awe inspiring.
When I was reading blogs this weekend, I came across this passage from "The Parents Tao Te Ching":
Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself."
How great is that. Words for my kids. And words for me.