friends from washington came up to celebrate "turkey" day. i put turkey in quotations since, as a vegetarian, i do not partake in feathered friends - but instead had human friends willing to indulge me with an entire feast of delicious sides. having company is welcomed because, though husband and i pretend to not like rural nowhere sometimes, we (secretly) really like all the touristy stuff. you know, the maple farms. the barns. the covered bridges. the breweries. my overall discontent comes from the fact that you can't really do this casually. however, you CAN do it to entertain out-of-staters. and boy did we ever. to avoid doubling up on my facebook shout-out to the weekend - i will highlight two points:
(1) a cow at token maple & cheese farm. it was here that we bought maple products, went on a maple-making walk, and ate lots of cheese. however, despite numerous trips to this place before - this was the first time (largely due to my friend's obsession with this 4-legged beauty) that i was able to really take a hard look at the petting zoo portion of the Farm. for the record, i think this was the only animal available to be petted. still - a good find.

(2) a local brewery. it's no secret that, for some unknown reason, i only like girly drinks. wine is as "rustic" and "natural" as a i get - so beer isn't, shall we say, my forte. however, a decorated moose head provided conversation - and i actually discovered a beer that i might drink casually. it was a huge accomplishment.

all in all, a nice (and much needed) vacation. now, of course, comes the dreaded finals - preceded by the requisite reading week and obligatory pre-reading-week-post-class party. in the interim - a friend and i have elected to fly to D.C. tomorrow to try and score tickets to the appellate argument being heard on wednesday (the subject of my appellate brief this semester - and my most acclaimed law school accomplishment so far). if you're into prayer - i'd appreciate it. and, if you're not, at least cross your fingers - because i really really really hope we get in! our camp out shall begin around midnight tomorrow... :)

this semester has gone by QUICKLY. i feel like being a 1L took FOREVER and i couldn't seem to get through finals fast enough. now, it seems as though 2L began yesterday and, for some odd reason, i'm already being tested on what i have learned. i vaguely remember being stressed this time last year that i hadn't reviewed all of my outlines. this year, dear friends, i have yet to even *start* the blessed things. perhaps it's because of that pesky appellate argument taking all of my time. or maybe the fact that the job search¹ has been so self-consuming. i could always blame the weather (though my space heater and i are quickly advancing to BFF status). perhaps it's something else - a plethora of what-ifs. in any event, that time of year is coming. so, as a nice waste of time break, i celebrated a 2nd anniversary with elfyourself.com. i was originally amused that the website can sound like something else if read fast - but later learned that the website itself was even spectacular. to experience the glory of my family, all elfed up, see this:

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

i mean, who wants to outline when you can see your father-in-law discoing in elf attire?

¹ job in home state? check. job with Agency? check. ability to line up opportunity with Agency over summer and home state job for Fall semester-in-practice? want-to-be check! during a time where there is so much to be thankful for - i am grateful for this challenge - and also very appreciative of prayer. :)

Agency called me today. Over a month after our interview - and despite (what I perceived to be) a less-than-desirable first interview (see posting awhile back if interested) - they have offered me a ... second interview. I feel like this creates massive complications and makes me question my decisions is extremely flattering. Regardless, should I embark on this journey, I'd like the experience to deviate from history and not play out like this:


But rather result in a feeling like this:

(I'd be the one on the right - but with my picture taken from a much more flattering angle)

living in the middle of nowhere has created, amongst other things, an extreme addiction to ebay. i've heard the horror stories (everybody knows somebody who's gotten burned) but i have remained unscathed and in (relative) material bliss. my first real "steal" was scoring obscenely priced camo manolo blahnik d'orsay pumps (hello lover!) for just a semi-offensive amount of cash. they were, and still are, simply gorgeous.

later, in my adventures, i have managed to score an out-of-stock coach bag with matching wallet, several cardigans, a NFL jersey for my dog, a cranberry soy candle from yankee candle and on and on. it's been pretty fun. what's better is that, before husband and i moved out to vermont, i sold a bunch of things - namely, an ipod touch that we got for free when we purchased my laptop. these sales, my friends, resulted in a "balance" on paypal. we're talking several hundred dollars. this has induced what i lovingly call "middle of nowhere material denial." paying from this magical account that i forget periodically is pretty wonderful - as it allows me to buy tons of things that i might have time to regret if i had to drag my pesky credit card out.

well, 2 things have recently killed the ebay fantasy. first, my magical account now only has $3. turns out, it's pretty easy to spend money when you're not really second guessing yourself. and second, my first inaccurate shipment arrived today. not to get too personal - but i bought a bra. i have it another color and have wanted to get another one - and was *delighted* to see it posted WITH TAGS for a fraction of the price. after the bidding war subsided i came out victorious and was happy to see my parcel post package waiting for me when i got back from school. the letdown? there are no tags. and, based on the tide-like smell, it may have been washed. i'm not a real germaphobe and don't generally get too hyped up on things like this. during my stint in a sorority i definitely shared all my clothes - so this really wasn't too big a departure. but i feel mislead. and annoyed. and, adding this to my intense need to procrastinate - means that here's an entire blog post based on why my $18 could have been better spent. does this make me crazy?

I rarely awake before 11 on weekends. I think this is for 2 primary reasons: 1) I do not have kids yet, and thus have this need (after talking to my friends with children) to really "stock up" on some magical shut-eye, and 2) I always feel like the law school gods owe me for a ridiculous week. However, there is one small (well, medium) problem in this equation: the dog. Despite my best attempts, it seems as though she is completely seeking to suck the joy out of my saturday mornings unable to hold it for 10 or so hours. Because dear husband is, well, a dear husband - he usually embarks on the freezing morning walk - allowing me to remain cuddled under flannel sheets - the hum of a leaf or snowblower in the background. However, today I took the "high road" and took the dog for a walk (in sleet, no less) and came back, slightly invigorated by the freeze your butt off refreshing weather - and decided to check my email.

Let me preface by saying that I deliberately subscribe to group emails that offer me reasons to get steaming irrationally angry think. They often annoy me - but I release a lot of rage in my reply posts - and it allows me to practice mixing anger with professionalism. And, let's face it, every lawyer needs to know how to do that. However, today I received an email from a law school cohort about the dreaded unpaid internship fiasco. Anyone in law school (and perhaps anyone in college) can attest to the fact that a lot, if not all of the internships one may be interested in are unpaid. I've convinced myself that this is acceptable because of the illustrious "experience" that one stands to gain and have sought to reject the notion that it's just ok because we were all served the same batch of Kool-Aid from our career services departments. Imagine my distaste then - when said cohort directed me to read this. For those not interested in the article in its entirety, I will highlight my favorite parts:

"Now, gratitude is a virtuous emotion, said to relieve stress and make you happier. So, by all means, be thankful for your cat, your curly hair or your kid’s decision to leave home. But gratitude can be misplaced. I used to tell the trainees that whether you are stuffing tacos or writing deathless prose, no one is doing you a favor by hiring you."

"The best place to get job experience, I replied, is on a job, the essence of which is the exchange of responsibility for compensation. Take away the latter half of the equation and what’s left is volunteerism. Fine: Pitch in at a soup kitchen. But there’s a word for unpaid labor for someone else’s profit, undertaken under duress (like today’s economy) or false pretenses. That word is slavery." (emphasis added).

Not sure what the take-home message should be. Paid job or no job? Waitressing over law, at any cost to my resume? Not to mention, if this is the concern with *summer* internships, how does one ever justify a semester in practice - wherein the poor virtue-filled law student works for free while ALSO paying tuition? Not to bring out my engineering math skills - but such an arrangement (paying $20/hr or so for the "privilege" of working) means that the hit I took for my deviation from established career path (engineer turned one-day lawyer) will result in me losing much more than I originally thought. To me, this means one thing. For any arrangement where you are either unpaid or (even worse) are paying to work, the job should be your DREAM job. I will sell out to work for a place that I dreamed about to get me through law school applications - but I will never again happily accept a job that doesn't work for me as much as I freely work for it. Perhaps this is due to my "cost benefit analysis" education - or, even more simply, a matter of common sense.

i have made a career out of sarcasm. under the guise of humor, i find release from the insensitive you know whats students that i find, er, less than pleasant. i generally find the rah-rah types to be completely bizarre. i mean, let me get this straight...you like law school? sick. however, yesterday i had my first full-length appellate oral argument. and, for a second i will trade in my sarcasm for my inner law school geek, and admit that i loved it. i don't know if i was awesome...but i was competent - and i did my case justice. and, for a half second i regretted not filling out that pesky moot court application. the case is stop the beach renourishment v. florida department of environmental protection (totally google-able) and will be heard before the united states supreme court on december 2. the good news? it's the SUPREME COURT. the bad news? our school didn't get any tickets - so, to go, we have to travel to D.C. and camp out the night before and just hope to score one of the public tickets and it's 2 days before finals reading week. am i still considering it? (resounding) YES. i mean, when i abandon sarcasm (or perhaps fully embrace it) i can admit that this woman may be my law-school equivalent jolie:

though i don't know if this man is necessarily my brad:

in any event, it would be an experience. the only down side to focusing so heavily on one case so much for an entire semester is that it can make a person a wee bit absorbed. the dog sat in my spot on the couch last night and, despite her non-stateness, i seriously considered telling her that her occupation of my property was a physical taking in violation of the 5th and 14th amendments of the united states constitution. oops.

I received notice on friday that I landed the internship I wanted in Colorado! This means that I'll be returning to my home state for summer - and, more than likely, will get to stay for the following semester (as part of the semester-in-practice program that my school has). This is such a relief - and yet, at the same time, provides another excuse for my nerves to go berserk. Will I be smart enough? Will I be able to afford more dress clothes? Will the house that I still own in Texas sell at some point? And I just want to...relax. Why is that so impossible? Oh, that's right - because I have my mock oral argument to the Supreme Court this week. I realize this isn't the "real" supreme court - but it's a REAL case and the panel of judges are "real" judges. I want to rock it out. To channel my inner Perry Mason. I want my, "Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?" moment. Send good lawyerly luck.

Today was rough on several levels. My apathetic attitude for law school is getting more severe by the second. I no longer fear being unprepared for class - and though I appreciate this newfound freedom - it is acting to my detriment since it turns out fear was the only motivation I had to actually *do* anything. Combine this with the fact that husband has been having issues with his job - and, well, it amounts to high levels of stress and an insane desire to gorge oneself with pumpkin Dunkin Donuts. Or, you know, anything else with no nutritional value and a guarantee of widening my hips. So - I was delighted to find that my overpriced dog halloween costume arrived today. I would wait and post this on Halloween - but I will be amid Evidence problems in an unfortunately scheduled midterm. So - here it is. The source of my happiness. Happy (Pre) Halloween. :)

Natalie Portman eat your heart out!

the things that are on my mind:
1) i'm over talking about swine flu. everything about it upsets me. the law school has resorted to sending out bi-weekly emails reminding us what the symptoms of swine are - and have already reassured us that, should we being showing symptoms that are contagious and likely to kill someone we can stay home (and we'll talk about those pesky absences later). for the love of god, don't tell me that. i'm immediately transported back to being 8 years old and my mom, concerned that i hadn't had the chicken pox yet, forced me to hang out with an infected child down the street to up my odds. bizarre, isn't it? and yet - getting it ASAP was good for me. i need not point out the obvious parallels to swineism - as there is a very apparent "up side" to this affliction.

i realize i may eat my words later - but i want to take this opportunity to tell the handful of people that read this that there is a solution. after discovering that the flu shot makes me sick and knowing that, at present, i have no exposure to infants or elderly - i take Cold Snap - it's a hippie remedy - for sure - but if you take 2 of these a day during flu season your odds of getting sick are "materially and substantially" reduced. it only works as a preemptive measure though - once you're full blown annihilated you have no choice but to resort to the tried-and-true knock-you-outs.
2) though i VERY much appreciate my broncos pulling through last week and claiming their 5-0 record, i cannot for the life of me understand what the throwback uniform was all about. who did it benefit? oh that's right - no one. perhaps i have no appreciation for the sport (ok, who am i kidding, i definitely don't) but i definitely appreciate the aesthetic beauty of some of the players (or, you know,this guy- who makes the broncos better in more way than one). take away my eye candy and there's nothing left. even espn was making "if it's yellow be mellow, if it's brown flush it down" jokes. lovely.

3) my hair is changing texture as it switches over to white. i feel robbed of my youth. i told my mom about it and she told me i was lucky that it wasn't gray. i have yet to do a cartwheel. at least there's a comedic slant on this life fail.
4) my bulldog is irregularly shaped and the broncos jersey i bought her cut off her circulation. however, it's being exchanged and it provides me more joy than i'm willing to admit (note: her jersey reflects modern color schemes). i have also decided that she's going to be princess leia for halloween. i will love it. she will hate it. it will be an amazing photo opp.
5) we just had fall want to kill yourself because there's no way you'll get everything donebreak and i feel more stressed and tired than i did last week. i think it's because law school profs are a bit sadist and enjoy assigning 8x the reading for your 3-day "break." nevermind the 20 page appellate brief and paper on energy law that i had due at the same time. just another day at the spa, you say?
6) largely due to #5, i recently discovered that i can't do all-nighters anymore. doesn't that suck? i stayed up all night to get a paper done and, despite copious amounts of smartfood white cheddar & monster orange, i feel utterly depleted. i wasted my study potential on engineering. however, my exhaustion increased the hilarity of this video:

that's all. no one said it would be cohesive.

I am rarely at a loss for words. I'm pretty sure that I drive a lot of people nuts because I always have something to say. Name the problem - I'll fix it. Name your dilemma - I'll brainstorm solutions. State the complaint - and I'll jump on your bandwagon and we'll key its car together. So...when I'm caught off guard and am rendered speechless - it definitely calls for a blog entry (at the least). Today I had an interview with a well-known government agency (we'll call it "Agency") - and was interviewed by a guy that (upon doing research) I know went to a less-than-intimidating law school (we'll call him "Average Joe"). I had listened to Average Joe talk about Agency last year and, I'll admit, was really excited when I got this interview. My grades are "average" - but I was chosen for 1st round interviews even after they got my complete application. Score. So I get up this morning and spend a ridiculous time getting ready and coach myself the whole way there on how to make the most of my 20 minutes. Agency is technical. I am a former engineer. I will ROCK this. I get there - we get through the awkward hand shake and solicitations.

Average Joe: Allow me to talk for 10 minutes about everything Agency does and not tell you how you'll fit in at all.
Me: Sounds great! Allow me to tell you how my engineering will be an asset.
Average Joe: (silent, pauses) Oh, that's right...you have an engineering degree.
Me: (thinking, "wow! he's stunned and happy!") Yes, I worked as an engineer for 3 years and was Project Manager on several projects involving Agency and the like.
Average Joe: You know that most engineers can't write, right?
Me: Well, I actually have never encountered an engineer I thought was a bad writer - but I am familiar with the stereotype. However, I received an honors pass in my legal writing class - and have singlehandedly written several reports to places like Agency.
Average Joe: (skimming through my application) Utto. Looks like you have defeciencies in here, too.
Me: I received a couple less than desireable grades, but have greatly improved since then, as evidenced by my second semester grades.
Average Joe: We do a lot of writing in our organization.
Me: I know. I can't wait to learn more and be able to assist in projects, yada yada.
Average Joe: Did you even submit a writing sample?
Me: Obviously, it's labeled "writing sample" and is in the pile of paperwork right in front of you I believe that's it there (pointing and averting my eyes lest the sarcasm come through).
Average Joe: I didn't read it.
Me: Obviously Oh, well hopefully it will help show that I am able to integrate my technical and legal knowledge.
Average Joe: Um, maybe. Care to send me other samples to show that you've improved since your law school mishaps? (Then shoves his business card to me and tells me to email him for further consideration).

Here's the thing. There is NO WAY that one year of grades can surpass an entire previous career. Am I the only person that understands how subjective law school is? Not to mention - I did AVERAGE. If I do not qualify for any job - what does the entire lower half of my class think? This was NOT BigLaw. Average Joe did NOT go to Harvard. Agency does not even pay. So why did I not say anything brilliant? And why, despite my best intentions, does this get to me and make me question my future success? Gross. I wore Cole Haan for him and curled my hair. I should have worn jeans.

i saw it. now, i know that michael moore ticks a lot of people off. and i, even being the self-professed hippie that i am, will admit that the majority of his arguments are ridiculously slanted. thus, i hope (though don't believe) that everyone who sees his movies (as well as anybody else's for that matter) does some outside research. that being said, i really liked it - and think it made some good points. i've been feeling "off" lately - the culmination of this week (my appellate brief being due and the ongoing year-in-advance job search) has resulted in constant headaches - and i just want to lie in bed all day everyday. so maybe it was the reality check i needed. it's admittedly sick - but remarkably true - someone always has it worse. i forget sometimes, amidst my stacks of student loans and materially disappointing life in rural nowhere - just how blessed husband and i really are. though i hate the phrase..."in this economy" it's pretty incredible that husband can work from home and allow me to keep buying organic produce, keep persisting in testing out sulfate-free shampoos, and even let me buy NFL jerseys for our dog. man - that sounded shallow. (but my god, it's so cute! and the broncos are 4-0!) the point is, i have been afforded a very comfortable (bordering on luxurious) life - and i should be especially mindful of it given what other households are going through.

i will say that it also reminded me that there are things that i don't want - and that was comforting, too. when i was little, i, like every other 8 year old i knew, aspired to have a house that filled an entire block with a floor full of household help. i would be like richy rich - and would have so much money that, in between solving all of the world's problems - hunger, poverty, tarnished bipartisanism - i would roll around in dollar bills on the living room floor and bask in my glory. ok, not gonna lie - most of that doesn't sound all that bad. though the dollar bill fantasy was quickly revoked after seeing "indecent proposal" and suddenly equating lots of money with being a hooker. that said, my life experiences have taught me, i think, that sometimes enough can be enough. for example, after looking at the carbon footprint that everything has (from our cars to our hair dryers to our toaster) i no longer aspire to have a 10 bedroom house. i want a house big enough for my 2.5 kids that will come one day, husband, bulldog & me - and a nice little room for the parents. i guess i want the american dream - to pay for my kids to go to college (after i pay for mine, of course) and help my parents with retirement. and anything else will - and always will be - extra. not necessarily the point of the michael moore movie - but good sentiment nonetheless.

this satisfaction has helped with the stress - but only to a point. because though it enables me not to sigh heavily when i contemplate not having biglaw salary and embrace having the "life will be great someday" attitude practically stapled to my forehead - i can't escape the right nows no matter how hard i try. a friend and i both applied to the same job and she got a confirmation email that her resume was received and i didn't and i almost had a meltdown. husband had to literally remind me that, gee, i could email her and make sure she got my application too. my behavior is out of control. but hey - as long as i can afford a padded cell that's big enough, i should be a-ok. :)

dear law school "friends",
please stop being competitive with me about every little thing. i concede, oh mighty ones, that you (on paper) far surpass me. the good news is, i don't want the jobs that you want. therefore, we should both be on board with skipping through fields (in the same jurisdiction) while holding hands. i find it degrading - and infuriating - that you refuse to answer even simple bluebooking questions despite knowing (due to your law review prowess, no doubt) exactly how to help me. why make me suffer? must i beg? here's the thing. i get enough competition every day with the professors executing the hellish hazing ritual that never seems to end socratic method. i don't need to feel dumb around you. so just email me that BB rule and sign your email xoxo, ok?
love always,
r

so i went, i interviewed, i conquered. at least *hopefully* i conquered. i liked the interviewers and felt a little warm and fuzzy after our half hour get-to-know-each-other-in-a-completely-unnatural-way session. lest i run into future issues (there may be blog spies, after all) i will leave out the details of the main event - and instead concentrate on the preparation. i, unlike many of my law school cohorts, loathe being dressed up (see previous entries wherein i admit that, in fact, i have resorted to being somewhat of a slob) so, when interview day comes, i stash the good clothes in the locker and wait until the last minute to change. today, i was careful to stake claim to the one handicapped stall in the bathroom so that i would have plenty o' room to finagle my way into a suit in less than 5 minutes. the experience was reminiscent of my waiting tables days - as i was acutely aware of the other bathroom users - astonished at how long i was taking and even more astonished when i didn't rush to wash my hands (i didn't do anything in there, i swear!). anyway, i pulled it off - and am still in awe of just how great i feel my suit really is. not to do a shameless plug or anything (an indicator that one is assuredly coming) but i LOVE victoria's secret suits. in vast contrast from their normal attire - in which i generally look like a working girl (and not the lawyerly kind) - the real "business" suits are AWESOME. there is enough give that you can sit down without a laceration - and the pants are not so tight as to warrant going commando in the event that you forget appropriate undergarments (not that i'd know, of course). anyway, check it out because you can get a full suit for less than $200 - which, compared to the banana republics and j crews out there - is a steal. to continue with my retail banter, i also realized that my cole haan shoes (see previous shameless posts about my outlet retail adventures) were worth every stinking penny. those babies could run a marathon (even if i couldn't). and yet, even surrounded by my consumer prowess, i still have one constant problem: sweating. in a normal world, i would find this to be tmi for a blog - but it's a pretty serious issue. while interviewing today i felt sweat...under my nose?! who does that? are there even glands there? and how does one address that? was it visible? oh god, what if it was visible? the rest of my body i've already given up on (pure cancer stick aluminum or natural deodorant - neither do anything) - but my upper lip?! sick. perhaps my glands are just really really passionate about law firms.

i did, however, get cat-called by townies on the way to my car - so it couldn't have been that bad, right?

this weekend had its ups. i experienced a "cookout" - which, i soon realized, is the east coast equivalent to a BBQ. i enjoyed boca burgers while husband eagerly gorged himself on steak - and, remarkably, hanging out with law school peeps wasn't overly stressful. everyone had the decency to not discuss school at all - and even the one law review attendee was pretty hush hush. we all bonded playing cornhole (apparently quite the rage in parts of the US - an obscenely named alternative for horseshoes, perhaps?) and for a split second, i kind of felt the same way i did pre law school - as in, i was there - on a saturday - drinking and having fun and not being stressed. this euphoria lasted nearly 24 hours.
because, this weekend had its downs.
1. farkle on facebook. bane of my existence. why is a game that is so clearly not fun so incredibly addicting? i devoted the majority of today to getting my score high enough to be "#1" amongst my farkle addicted facebook friends. my reading for class tomorrow has not even been started - but i rule at farkle.
2. traveling friends posting pictures on facebook. i feel developmentally behind my once-on-the-same-level friends - and now, i find myself flinching and heavily sighing as my friends embark on a second trip to Europe this weekend. i want to travel. i want a tropical drink in hand.
3. clothing boutiques in the "city" near my house that consider size 8/10 to be a plus size. i'm not ok with this - at all. and even though i wouldn't buy $400 jeans anyway (yikes) - i want to feel like i could, if i wanted to. and yet i found myself stumbling into kohl's for the hundredth time - feeling amiss as i scanned the entire store for jeans that neither show my full behind or reach underneath my chest. nothing to be found.
4. over-achieving "friends" who complain about being the best at everything and suffering through interviews with prestigious law firms. seriously.
5. (and this is the top one) finding myself cleaning for 5 hours because even that is better than school. i have had some rough jobs in my life and i have never resorted to a floor-to-ceiling clean just to avoid the inevitable. my procrastination is starting to scare me.
oh well - tomorrow is a new day.
i have an interview with a local firm - and though i'd prefer to go "home" next summer - i'm trying to weigh the ups and downs. if anyone with experience is reading this - any opinions on whether it's important to make sure the 2L internship is in the locale where you'd like to end up?

This weekend husband and I went on a mini vacation to Rhode Island. Having never been - I wasn't sure what to do once we got there - but we were on a mission...to see Sebastian Maniscalco. The guy is, quite possibly, the funniest comedian in the world. I'll admit - I'm a bit of comedy club fiend - but I have never laughed quite as hard as when I saw things like this:

And, because my level of obsession increases every day (after all, I drove 3 hours each way to see him in Rhode Island!) I was sure to get a pic!

Anyway, this part of the trip is the "hilarious" part of my segment. It was awesome. I drank $15 what-I'm-sure-were-made-with-plastic-bottle-liquor lemon drops and had myself a merry old time at the no-tables-but-slots-galore convention of the socially awkward casino that housed the comedy club. It was fun.
Since the aforementioned casino is 3 hours (each way) from our humble abode, it was clear we'd need a hotel. So, we secured a roof over our heads in Providence, Rhode Island. I cannot say enough great things about this city. I was so pleased to find quaint dining, a decent night life and an abundance of street lights that I was borderline euphoric. They even had a...three...story...mall. It has been over a year since I was embraced with such epic materialness.
Anyway, after an afternoon of spending money I don't have helping the economy, we decided to go to The Melting Pot. This fondue gem has existed everywhere we've lived before - but, of course, is nowhere near Vermont. Not very hungry, we opted for the chocolate only course (aka: a pot of chocolate with a side plate of fruit and other wonderful things to dip in said chocolate). Insecurity #1 plays out like this:
Waiter: Welcome to the Melting Pot, yada yada. What can I get you two?
Me: Well, we're just interested in dessert, actually.
Waiter: Oh! Well chocolate is FANTASTIC. What kind did you want?
Me: Uh, smores milk chocolate.
Waiter: Small or regular?
Me: Regular? I mean, what comes with the regular dinner? That's what we're used to.
Waiter: Oh. Well the regular dinner comes with something smaller. (Pensively pauses - looks back and forth at the two of us) But you two look like you could definitely handle the larger one.
Me: I hate you and you have lost any chance of a tip and now I want to die Yea, um sure, whatever.
Then I proceed to gorge myself on cookie crumbled marshmallows and get rip roaring ill. I blame the waiter entirely. We leave, vowing never to go back to Providence Melting Pot again.
Since, at this point, I had decided to never eat again - I needed more retail therapy. We hit up Ulta - so that I could get a boar bristle brush. Apparently it's what my baby fine hair needs to make me look less decrepit. While there, I have this conversation:
Me: Hey! Do you have any product that will help my sad depressing hair have body and not cling to the sides of my face?
Flamboyant Hairstylist: Giiiirrrrl, I think it has to do with that sad cut you have! You need laaaayyyyeeers, girl!
The insecurity in this? I got my hair done on Friday and liked the cut. FAIL.
However, we found more OUTLETS and all was well - when husband and I proved everyone right by buying matching oversized sweatpants at The Gap. I might eat a gallon of ice cream tonight with my hair plastered to my forehead just for kicks. While starting my six hours of reading, of course.

i, like everyone else i know, really really love labor day. having a monday off is like a gift from God - and makes life seem so much more bearable. this weekend we went to meet my sister-in-law & new boyfriend up in lake george, ny. i had never been - but was pleasantly surprised to find that it is very much like bah habah. we had a really good time (complete with staying at the "northward ho motel" and paying $20 to go to the most absurd haunted house i have ever experienced)





it was a nice opportunity to have some much-needed family bonding (complete with a quick visit to the coach outlet store on the main drag).



of course now it's back to law school. i seriously don't know how many more 6-hours-of-reading-a-night days i can get through. wish me luck.

i have heard rumors that there are law schools that "require" their students to dress up. like, in suits. or at least be "business casual" at all times. my school is not in this category - by any stretch. there are a handful of students that over-achieve - but it's certainly not the norm. anyway - i have fully embraced this opportunity to dress like a 12 year old again. a few years in "industry" have provided me with a wardrobe full of business casual - and, though i love love love some of the expensive pairs of stilettos tucked away in my closet - i wouldn't dream of wearing them to go class. it's sort of how i think about exercising. never run unless being chased. never dress nice unless there's someone to impress. well today, after my afternoon class was cancelled (yay for now, but suck for when the makeup happens) i decided to try to be zen with my surroundings (difficult with 240+ 1Ls running around) and be social with some classmates outside. well, in the midst of this socialization comes another student (who i am actually quite fond of - but who definitely dresses nicer than necessary. she claims it's because it makes her work harder - motivates her, whatever) who feels the need to basically tell me i look like crap. today i am wearing jeans (no holes, relatively new), amazing shoes that i scored for $10 at payless (but they're not hideous, i swear!) and a lovely touristy t-shirt i acquired during husband and i's explore new england summer. let's just say - this is moderate in terms of my "look" - i have invariably looked worse. so - sitting amongst my peers - some of whom are cute and little enough to wear skinny jeans, tank tops & greek goddess shoes - i began wondering - is it wrong to not care more? i mean, i admit that i get a little sinking feeling when i watch "what not to wear" and hear stacy go off on some poor soul about how "comfortable" is NEVER an excuse. well - isn't law school an exception. i mean, i know how to look put together - but i just don't want to waste the effort. i mean, i'm no elle - but bobbi is totally within reach.

i have several issues with the way legal internships go down. perhaps the most irritating thing to me is the fact that i am supposed to know now what i want to do next summer. perhaps other people are better at the whole "life plan" thing - but i have trouble deciding what i want to do next weekend. i met with career services - which, to my total shock delight was not a complete waste of time. so i have a revamped (albeit very tinily typed) resume that's ready to go. who knew one's greatest achievements could all fit so snugly on one page? however, my apologies to the legal realm - i simply did not have space to tell you what i do for fun. please inquire within. i now have the painstakingly boring challenging task of redoing my writing sample from last semester and sprucing it up...all before tomorrow. lame. and while i struggle with these (admittedly menial) stresses, the peeps on facebook are all boasting about how they've got their reading done for the week and are totally ready to conquer being a 2L. if only motivation could be traded around like the daily helping of excedrin migraine i've become accustomed to. if only.

some randoms:
1. i have thought today was friday all day. which i guess is reasonable - considering it technically is friday now. but it has been hellaciously disappointing. to aide in my denial, i acted like it was friday when i got home (sat on the couch and stared at a wall for awhile, aimlessly searched ebay for a pair of big star jeans that don't exist, contemplated giving the dog a bath) and even went so far as to venture to the "city" (which is no longer as dramatic since it's only 5 minutes away - but still not terribly responsible given that it's a school night) to get some boloco. boloco is a cheapened version of chipotle (and an even lesser version of illegal petes) but it's the best the area has to offer, so i was jazzed. i then took dog to the dog park (wherein she tried to corral a great dane and i thought she might die) and didn't actually get home to "work" until about 7 pm. i then proceeded to do nothing (totally my fault) and consequently didn't start my reading assignments until 9 pm. hence, why i'm posting this at 2:30 in the morning. and yet, the "gripe" contained in this post is that somehow, even amidst my mass amounts of being a slacker - i still managed to miss project runway. fml.
2. law school plastics. i'm going to resort to a "mean girls" reference on this one - but bear with me. we have a group of people that just excel at...everything. and as much as i try to avoid them - they are in all of my classes and i get to hear about all of their greatness. i need to know what the intellectual equivalent to a foreign weight-gainer bar is? all suggestions are accepted.
3. on the way home, i got cut off by a completely inconsiderate you-know-what distracted driver - and nearly died. to me, the rational response to such behavior is to obnoxiously honk one's horn and act pissed off. in houston, i would have pointed to my mythical gun rack, but i digress. anyway, i think this person may have been a neighbor.
4. i have a professor who teaches with his eyes closed. i can't decide how i feel about it. it's especially awkward when he/she asks if any of us have questions - but asks with closed eyes and consequently is oblivious to raised hands. how does one get used to this?
5. i'm going to travel this year - for spring break and for summer. i have already started incorporating vegas into daily conversations with perfect strangers to make them jealous. now i totally have to follow through. (thank god i didn't throw greece into the conversation, right?)

i feel exhausted. and entirely ripped off for missing my beloved reality tv in exchange for 100+ pages of reading every night. all summer i toyed around with the idea of leaving and returning to houston. i think i handle houston like an ex boyfriend. after being away from it for a year - i can only remember all the good things and have selectively blocked out the things i loathed. perhaps, in a few years, i'll be the same way about vermont. i can just hear me now, "if i could only go back to the middle of nowhere, things would be so much better!" i'm sure that will come up in conversation. not much new to report in the way of school - other than 16 credit hours plus research for a lawyer may be an epic fail challenging. hopefully my ability to skim pages with one hand while typing furiously with the other will return.

on a side note, i am sad to hear that ted kennedy has passed away. he served 9 terms in the senate - and made tremendous strides in bridging the gap between the republican and democratic parties. regardless of opinions about the kennedy family - they have certainly been iconic - and i hope surviving members have a lot of support.